This is a rough day for Mommy, Molli. On this very day... just one year ago, it was the last time me and your Daddy saw you alive. I watch the ultrasound video back over and over sometimes... in disbelief. How did this happen to such a healthy, perfect baby girl? How could my doctor have been so stupid as to miss such a big thing... that caused me to lose you!?
I hurt inside when remembering... I lose my breath each time I think back on the memories of when we lost you. December 26, 2011 was such a different time for Mommy. I was so very happy and overjoyed on that day... like a million bucks, and nobody could bring me down that day... this I remember. We saw you having hiccups and we laughed... measured that beautiful heartbeat at 146 bpm... watched you pull your cord inbetween ...your legs and acting all modest. My God, I sit and cry out at times... Why did I have to endure this pain in my life? Why me?
I miss you so much always and there's not a day when it gets "easier" to miss you.
One year ago today, I held you inside my tummy... I carried you! Mommy would do it all again if given the chance... I would have saved you, had I known you were slipping. Molli, there's still so much hurt and regret I could never expect for anyone to understand... but I know there's a place in grief where you are there for me to lean on, my tiny dancer, our guardian angel.
It's a very long road ahead, still... I will forever miss my baby girl. I love you, angel.
♥ CMR ♥
I hurt inside when remembering... I lose my breath each time I think back on the memories of when we lost you. December 26, 2011 was such a different time for Mommy. I was so very happy and overjoyed on that day... like a million bucks, and nobody could bring me down that day... this I remember. We saw you having hiccups and we laughed... measured that beautiful heartbeat at 146 bpm... watched you pull your cord inbetween ...your legs and acting all modest. My God, I sit and cry out at times... Why did I have to endure this pain in my life? Why me?
I miss you so much always and there's not a day when it gets "easier" to miss you.
One year ago today, I held you inside my tummy... I carried you! Mommy would do it all again if given the chance... I would have saved you, had I known you were slipping. Molli, there's still so much hurt and regret I could never expect for anyone to understand... but I know there's a place in grief where you are there for me to lean on, my tiny dancer, our guardian angel.
It's a very long road ahead, still... I will forever miss my baby girl. I love you, angel.
♥ CMR ♥
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