43 Weeks Later

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43 weeks... My heart remains torn from you being gone. We miss you so very much. You will be forever loved here on earth.
♥ CMR ♥

42 Weeks Later

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42 weeks... Some days are harder than others. We miss you so much. You'll be in my heart... always! We love you, baby girl. ♥ CMR ♥

41 Weeks Later

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41 weeks and today is October 15 (Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day). We miss you so much and still find ourselves wiping tears in your memory.

You will always be loved and remembered by me and your Daddy. Our tiny dancer!
♥ CMR ♥

40 Weeks Later

40 weeks, 10 months later. We miss you baby girl! You will always be in our hearts and minds. Mommy is doing a 31 day challenge for the month of October and it's very healing for me.

The irony of it is that we found out we were for sure expecting you on 10/04/11. We were over the moon to finally be pregnant. Fast forward to one year later, we are now members of "October Miscarriage and Infant Loss Awareness Month."

I never would have imagined this to be true. We hurt for you to be here with us so much. You are always loved by us! Happy 10 month birthday in Heaven!
Our tiny dancer...
♥ CMR ♥

October - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

 

I sit here in my living room in complete peace and quiet with only the sound of the fan blowing on me and my puppies... I can't help but wish I could fast forward 8 weeks (or when Try finally decides to debut). I think of late night lullabies, sweet whispers, giggles and cooing noises, the list goes on and on at all the memories we will soon make! 

 

Then I think back to this day, one year ago... I had received a call from my OB confirming 100%, that we had a healthy pregnancy starting to form in my womb. If I could go back to this day in 2011, would I? Well, of course! I will always wish I could have saved Molli... But I praise God for my second chance, my "Try" again, and our unborn son on the way.

 

It's bittersweet now and with October being "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness" month, it is even heavier on my heart. I pray for those with empty cradles tonight, the ones lighting candles and singing that special lullaby to their baby/babies in the sky. I pray for the broken hearted that are just starting this long, difficult road that we have also traveled recently. May God bless them with their very own rainbow soon and heal their hearts, to learn to forgive, and most of all... to learn to "Try" again. Miracles happen!

Meet Tryton Roklin Ruebin...

I have talked about Molli for the past 39 weeks, publicly and without hesitation.  I have cried, pleaded, bragged, and smiled all while mentioning her name; but there is another person in my life that holds great importance just as our Molli does... his name is Try, and he's Molli's baby brother (due December 6, 2012). 

We found out we were pregnant with him on March 24, 2012 and then on May 30, 2012, found out that he is a he!  We named him 2 days afterwards and have been decking out his nursery with all kinds of goodies since! 



His "decked out" nursery!

His full name is Tryton Roklin Ruebin and today I am 31.3 weeks pregnant with him!  He is very active like his big sister once was and they share similar food cravings.  I can't wait to meet him but wanted to introduce his adorable, cherub-esque face to you guys for now!  Here's Try Try!



Tryton at 31 weeks!

39 Weeks Later



Molli at 15.2 weeks gestation!  She was such a wiggle worm during our very 1st 4D ultrasound!

 

It's been 39 weeks now. This has been one of the hardest weeks yet. Your nursery is no longer yours... Everything that was in there for you has been gently placed in a box and stored in baby brother's closet.

We left a corner of the nursery just for you... Your bunny from Nana sits there with your photographs, memorial figurines, and your "box." It still feels so new and somehow... wrong. :*( You should be here right now. We should be celebrating your 3 month birthday on earth but this was not to be.

Your baby brother is ready to arrive now. He's head down, Mommy's body is ready, and our doctors want one more week to pass before he makes that grand entrance. Please watch over him for us. He is going to need his big sister all his life.
...

We love and miss you, Molli. You are never forgotten.
♥ CMR ♥