Today marks 60 weeks... Hard to believe. Had you told me I would be losing a daughter at 27 years old and welcoming a son by 28, I wouldn't have believed you!!!
The person I was back in December 2011 is dead and gone. I have had to pick up pieces and relearn so much in my life. My trust was broken and faith shaken. It is still not back to where it was. Getting pregnant doesn't always result in taking home a baby at the end of those 9 months. You're not safe... Something our OB told us we were just one week prior to your death.
I was so sure that you were our miracle after 6 years of praying. I never saw it ending as it did. I miss you more than words could ever express. I'm sorry I couldn't save us. I wish I could go back... I'd do so much differently. So many guilty regrets I would un...do. I would never have failed you!
I pray for peace but it's yet to come. I've tried letting go but it's not to be. I counted the seconds to minutes to hours to days... Now I count the weeks. I wish I didn't hurt so bad. I wish I could live the way I did back when you were in my tummy.
Life sucks and it's not fair. No matter how much you pray, you're not protected from it. I prayed every day when you were in my tummy. I thanked God for you and told him how grateful I was that he trusted us with you. I told him of plans we had for you and how thrilled we were to have this precious miracle thriving.
Perhaps bc we wanted you so much and would have been so happy, He took you back?! I remember saying how you were too good to be true.
How amazing it was to be having our first baby, a girl, and due in June (Our wedding anniversary month)?! You were too good to be true. And you couldn't stay...
Your baby brother looks so much like you. He shares that adorable "butt" chin of yours and has the sweetest smile! I wish you could grow up with him. I wish you could know him. He is such a character and has such spirit!!! He's so active and reminds me of the "DIVA" attitude you so often would show us you were capable of. He's amazing!
You would have loved us... We sure love you!
The person I was back in December 2011 is dead and gone. I have had to pick up pieces and relearn so much in my life. My trust was broken and faith shaken. It is still not back to where it was. Getting pregnant doesn't always result in taking home a baby at the end of those 9 months. You're not safe... Something our OB told us we were just one week prior to your death.
I was so sure that you were our miracle after 6 years of praying. I never saw it ending as it did. I miss you more than words could ever express. I'm sorry I couldn't save us. I wish I could go back... I'd do so much differently. So many guilty regrets I would un...do. I would never have failed you!
I pray for peace but it's yet to come. I've tried letting go but it's not to be. I counted the seconds to minutes to hours to days... Now I count the weeks. I wish I didn't hurt so bad. I wish I could live the way I did back when you were in my tummy.
Life sucks and it's not fair. No matter how much you pray, you're not protected from it. I prayed every day when you were in my tummy. I thanked God for you and told him how grateful I was that he trusted us with you. I told him of plans we had for you and how thrilled we were to have this precious miracle thriving.
Perhaps bc we wanted you so much and would have been so happy, He took you back?! I remember saying how you were too good to be true.
How amazing it was to be having our first baby, a girl, and due in June (Our wedding anniversary month)?! You were too good to be true. And you couldn't stay...
Your baby brother looks so much like you. He shares that adorable "butt" chin of yours and has the sweetest smile! I wish you could grow up with him. I wish you could know him. He is such a character and has such spirit!!! He's so active and reminds me of the "DIVA" attitude you so often would show us you were capable of. He's amazing!
You would have loved us... We sure love you!
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