48 Weeks Later

48 weeks... Dear God, I fall to my knees and cry out "Why?" I'm not perfect and I still grieve regardless of what blessings come my way... I will always miss our baby girl.

I will never understand why you had to wear wings instead of the beautiful clothes we had picked out for you here. I can never grasp the concept that my daughter will never run to me when she needs lifting up, when she needs a tear wiped from her cheek, and when she has something to show pride in and know her Mommy and Daddy support her 100%.

My grief is heavy with strong regret and burdens of error. I will blame so many for so long. Mommy misses you so much. Love you to the moon and back! 

48 weeks and not a teardrop in vain. I miss you so much. I hope you love the Christmas lights from up there. I bet they are a sight to see! ♥

Today we saw a ladybug on the wall in our apartment and knew it must've been a sign from you. Our June bug... Comforting us in her own way.

We love you, baby girl.


♥ CMR ♥

December, Me to You...

Mommy hurts to hold you. Today is the 1st of the month. I remember this day last year. Mommy was nearing her "12 weeks" pregnant milestone and so excited to be entering the 2nd trimester. Everyone told me and Daddy about how the miscarriage rate drops to less than 2% at this point... We were so elated. It's amazing what all can change in just 31 days. This month is dedicated to you, our tiny dancer. We will always miss you. We forever love you!

47 Weeks Later

I sit here this morning watching your baby brother hum and coo in his sleep... and I wipe tear after tear. I wanted so badly to hear your coos, your hums, and your cry.

Mommy is so extremely grateful for your baby brother but he can never take away the pain and heartache of losing you.... It wouldn't be fair to expect him to either.

I miss you. I wish you were here with each passing moment. I hurt and my heart will always be slightly broken, bruised, and lost in a moment. I will always long to hold you.
...

It's been 47 weeks and I still can't catch my breath when I think of you, baby girl. It hurts like no other pain I have ever known. Mommy loves you so much! You are always the tiny dancer of my heart.
♥ CMR ♥

Happy 1st Thanksgiving, Molli!

We took baby brother to Denny's last night in honor of you, baby girl. I remember last year's Thanksgiving when Mommy was too tired to cook (being 10 weeks pregnant with you), so Daddy gave me the night off by taking us to Denny's.

I recall saying it was the best turkey/dressing dinner I had had in a while, granted food tastes better when you're expecting! I never thought this year we would be taking your week old baby brother there ... without you.

I must say, I praise God for him! He's got the best disposition already! He is our rainbow, after all! And even though it can't be you here celebrating your 1st Christmas, I know you're here in spirit and watching over your baby brother.

We love you, angel! Dreams are made of the hopes and possibilities of the heart... You gave us that hope and now we are living a dream with your brother, Tryton.

46 Weeks Later

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46 weeks and life has been so busy lately. I still find time to miss you, wipe a few tears, and talk to the wind where I hope you're listening... We miss you more each day, we love you more than the sun or moon, and we are cherishing every moment we have been given with your baby brother. Keep a close eye on him for us. We love you and your baby brother so much!

 ♥ CMR ♥

45 Weeks Later - Try Arrives!

It's been 45 weeks and Mommy has some wonderful news. Your baby brother was born 11/14/12 at 9:47 a.m. He weighed 6 lb. 15 oz. and measured 19 1/2 inches long.  He is so beautiful. I imagined you to look just as he does. There is a piece of you here with us always. 

We love you, Molli!
♥ CMR ♥

44 Weeks Later

It's been 11 months now, 44 weeks... I am having a hard time accepting this. It's supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year," yet I long for my baby girl every day. This was to be your first Thanksgiving and Christmas! We had the perfect tutus picked out and hanging in your closet, an ornament made with your expected arrival date, and dreams of sugar plums dancing in our heads. You were the life we were planning our life around, so when yours came to an end... ours stood still! We miss you so much, Molli. Mommy's heart is forever broken and held together only by the memory of you, my daughter, our tiny dancer, and such a magnificent sight to see on ultrasound. You are so very loved here on earth.

Your baby brother will be here soon... I'll give him lots of kisses from his big sister and I'll tell him how much you wish you could have been here to meet him and personally share your toys with him! He loves you already...
♥ CMR ♥