57 Weeks Later

57 weeks later...
For the first time in almost a year, I pulled out the medical documents from the day you were taken from us. Looking over those harsh, empty words: fetal demise, breaks my heart. It is still so surreal. I miss you, always.

♥ CMR ♥

My 1st, Forever Child...

 

My First, Forever Child

Is he your first?
They stop to ask
I reply with a solemn "No."
... They stand and gasp

As I tell them of this little girl
She stole my heart
She was my whole world
Now she's gone, so far

I tell them I have a daughter
And right I am when I say
My daughter is in Heaven
Then I begin to speak her name

It must be taboo...
As I pull out a photo of her last ultrasound
Then follow with a photo of her single foot
Suddenly the conversation holds no sound

You see, this is my daughter
She was the one to pave the way
Even though she had to leave us
Even though she couldn't stay

She sent down her baby brother
For us to love and to spoil
She knew we had so much to give
Held so much love and more

My daughter will always be
My first, forever child
I adore her baby brother
And he is so proud

He has an angel among him
A guardian, big sister to Try
He knows how much we love him
And how important it is to celebrate her life

Next time you see me out with my miracle, my son
You'll coo and you'll adore his beautiful smile
Please remember I will always be missing one
My daughter, my first, forever child

By: Ashley Ruebin (For Molli)

56 Weeks Later

56 weeks and you'd think I would have stopped counting? Never. I'll never forget you. I carried you, felt each hiccup and kick, heard your heartbeat time after time, and dreamed of who you would be one day.... I remember you and hold to your footprints given to me by the hospital staff (the only decent thing they did offer me from you).

My tiny dancer, dancing on stars and clouds way up above... Mommy misses you more and more with each passing day. You would be coming up on 8 months old had you shared your life with us but I understand that God had bigger plans for you.

Mommy loves you, Molli.
♥ CMR ♥

55 Weeks Later

It's been 55 long weeks since we said goodbye. Not too much has happened since our last talk. Your baby brother is 11 weeks old today. Funny how time has flown while I hold him yet seems so slow when I think of you. I miss you so much, especially more on rainy days like today.

Always know that I love you. You were so wanted and long anticipated. Dreams laid out ahead of time have since been hung to dry. You'll always be my little girl.
♥ CMR ♥

52 Weeks Later

52 weeks later... I hope you're up there rooting on Mommy's favorite team tonight. I'm thinking of my Crimsyn Molli today! Roll Tide, baby girl.

I love you, angel!
♥ CMR ♥

Rest

I may start to visit you less and less here but please don't be hurt at Mommy. I'll update you with all the new, exciting things that life may bring us here on earth but for the most part, I have laid my grief down. I know it's always there so if I ever feel the need to pick it back up and cry for a bit, I can... but for now, I have to allow room for new beginnings. I know you understand. Mommy has to be strong now for your baby brother and for Daddy too. ♥

Molli, Mommy loves you so very much, this will never change.

Rest in peace, baby girl.

I will continue to miss you more than words.

Why???

One year ago today at this exact time.... How I miss you!